It has been 5 years and 9 months since I called myself Mama. In that moment my life, myself, changed forever in the most wonderful way I could ever have imagined. I thought that was the pinnacle. BUT. It has been 20 months since I became a mother of two. Since I could actually use the words I had been dreaming of for so long. My children. My Little Ladies. My Girls. My Two.
September has been a month of adjustment. After an amazing August in France, the last few weeks have been ordinary and busy as we have settled into being back. I still remember that feeling, that surge of familiarity as we pulled onto the drive, the utter joy and calm as we fell into our own bed after so long. As we sunk into the mattress, felt the clean crisp sheets and my head hit my very own pillow in almost slow motion to start the best nights sleep ever. I welcomed the click of an electric kettle which only takes 2 minutes to boil, to drink water from the tap again became a relief and to turn on the television and be greeted by a language I fully understand!
To Eva
Today you started your new adventure in year 1. Year 1! Even as I write that it doesn’t seem like it can be real. It really feels like 5 minutes since your very first day and even less since I wrote about your last day in reception. A huge part of me can’t even quite believe that you are old enough to be a fully fledged school child. That you are no longer the baby in the school and this is no longer new. As we walked up that familiar hill on the approach to school this morning I felt the difference. You didn’t hesitate, there was no firm grip of my hand or burrowing into me as someone spoke. You talked confidently about your summer, took ownership of the mountain of bags you seem to need on that first day and felt comfortable that you just knew what to do. After of course giving me a kiss you didn’t even glance back as you walked in through that gate, on your own, confident with your head held high.