I have had THE best day. I am sat here now rather emotional about my Little Lady having an operation tomorrow. Trying anything and everything to distract myself. She is having a tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy and grommets, a routine surgery that I am sure happens every day all around the country. She will be in the hands of one of the best ENT surgeons in the country. Yet to me, she is my Little Lady, my baby, even at 5 years old and truth be told. I don’t want her to be in the hands of anyone else. Alas I know she will be better for it and I will certainly be there until she closes her eyes and again as soon as she opens them. I am here for her always.
Today has been a day for E. I decided that although she has shown no signs of being nervous or anything about the surgery I wanted her to feel safe and secure going into it and to spend some time just with her. R was with her Daddy this morning and my sister this afternoon and we made E feel like it was all about her and that she could do what she wished. She isn’t actually all that well still at the moment so she decided to stay low key. We went into town in the morning and for a coffee just me and her, came home for lunch and then bike riding, to the park and back home to play games, E, Mummy and Daddy. It was amazing.
We laughed until we cried, we sang at the top of our voices, spun on the roundabout until we were dizzy, held hands over the table, and talked non-stop about anything and everything. Friends, favourite flowers, hopes for the future and even life on other planets! We were together, present in each moment.
I feel like I learnt so much today. It makes me feel slight mummy guilt that I perhaps don’t spend the time with her I would like to. On the odd occasion I don’t have R or at nap time sometimes she is happy to entertain herself and I have to admit that I let her. I relish the time to get things done or indeed have a hot cup of tea. It really isn’t until you have another child that you realise life with one is sooooo much easier – especially an older one!
And so as she ran around without a care in the world today I watched with awe and emotion in my eyes so proud. She rode her bike all the way around the gardens so confident and is coming along so much. We played shops in the park like we have done since she was tiny – except this time I was asked if I needed a 5 pence bag!! How times change. I took notice of all the funny things she said to and about me. I was asked if television was invented when I was a little girl, although funny we did indeed have a talk about how 31 years ago is not considered the olden days!!
She amazes me every day with her thirst for knowledge and in depth thinking. She really is just the best person to spend time with and I realised she is growing up right in front of my eyes. I need to do this more, to get to know the little person she is growing up to be and not assuming that I know all about her. I want to really stand back to have a look, to listen to her opinion as presently as I should or appreciate the things she finds funny that shows her personality in spades. I have loved every single minute and will definitely be doing it more. The time together is beyond precious.
We didn’t take too many photos and I tried to stay off my phone, I didn’t worry too much about the quality or focus of the ones I did take. Today the focus was E. But here are some we did take. A snippet of a brilliant day.
My happy Little Lady. Thank you E, I had the BEST day and I hope you did too xx
A little crazy goes a long way!