R is for…..

Baby Name Roma

Baby Name Roma

Since sharing my eldest Little Ladies name here I have been meaning to sit down and share R’s name too, after the excitement and the nerves hovering over the publish button came the realisation that I had to write this one aswell. I have loved sharing her name and am so happy with the decision but something feels different this time. I feel the kind of nerves and excitement where you get butterflies in your tummy, the kind where you are so overwhelmed it’s hard to find the perfect words as the final piece of the puzzle for this online space of mine takes place. Much like when we made that journey back home from the hospital with her, the four of us, my whole and complete world in one car. We walked into the house together on that cold February day with everything we had ever wanted and I remember crying at the sheer perfection of that moment, sitting with a cup of tea and looking around at the life I got to lead each and every day.

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Sisters – July {Siblings}

Strawberry Picking Sibling Sisters July
Strawberry Picking Sibling Sisters July

As I sit to write this post I can hear my little ladies downstairs with their Daddy, there is laughter and squeals and it’s enough to get me running down those stairs to join them. I am in bed on day 4 of tonsillectomy recovery and my goodness do I miss them like crazy. Eva comes in to me in the morning, after school and before bed. She lies with me, reads to me and tells me about her day. Today I got to go downstairs and spend some time with R too, she chanted my name, talked and talked and she cuddled into me more than she has done for such a long time. I got as close as I could and soaked it all in, she smells like candy floss and fresh air all mixed in this beautifully intoxicating scent, I definitely take it for granted how much they are a constant for me and for each other. The bit I miss the most though is seeing them together, they bring out in each other such joy, contentment and of course utter mischief.

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Feeling Scared and Being “Just” Mum

Strawberry Picking Parenting

Strawberry Picking Parenting

 

Life lately is pretty hectic and pretty stressful, my Nana is seriously ill and my Dad has returned from living abroad for nearly 10 years as he is also ill having had a stroke. That teamed with every day life with two children, a house to run, a busy job, a musculoskeletal condition, school life and the fact that we head to France for a month in less than three weeks just makes for a very fuzzy head most of the time. I have this sense of urgency that seems like days and weeks and even months are streaking by and I feel almost like I am missing it. Like I want to grasp it with both hands, to freeze time and really appreciate every single moment before it has gone in an instant. Before my Little Ladies are another day older and I haven’t been fully present in the day. And now, well now I am about to make it even more complicated.

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