Today has been one of those days. Those days that you go into fully expecting to be nothing other than Mum. Where you are happy to be that and nothing else, to be solely there for your child. E had her operation scheduled. At 7.30am we bundled a very hungry 5 year old up to the hospital leaving R with Grandma.
When I found out I was expecting my first child there was this feeling of overwhelming joy, a much wanted, planned for pregnancy. Having been married 8 months and just 6 weeks earlier moved into our new house it was a wonderful whirlwind of emotions. I pictured 9 months of this same excitement as we got ready to welcome our new baby into this little world we had created, our family. I pictured the growing baby, the perfect little bump on my petite frame, the beautiful pregnant lady body, the kicks, the nursery planning, the times just us enjoying every moment before our lives changed forever, the glow that everyone gets…..Right???
My eldest Little Lady E is a mummy’s girl. She always has been and whilst she loves her dad, she needs me. At 5 years old she will still stick to my side in almost all scenarios and even at home is more often than not found in the same room that I am. Usually with a part of her body touching mine or as near as damn it! So close in fact that sometimes I have to remind her to give me some space. Totally aware of this, she is very mature and also knows too well that I may have to rush off and save R from whatever mischief she has found upon. As even at just 11 months R is definitely showing signs she will be somewhat different to her big sister and can usually been seen running as far as she can get away with!! But given the choice E would be right there with me, wherever that may be.