Since starting the Me and Mine project almost two years ago now there have only ever been 2 months that our photos have been taken inside, the very first one at Roma’s first birthday party (a special memory but an awful photo) and then this time last year when I was really quite poorly with pneumonia and pretty much bed bound. Yet here we are in the same place, sat on the same bed doing the same thing. Thankfully it is not because I am poorly this time but just in fact because it was easier and it kind of made sense. Of course we could have made the special effort to go out but it felt like we would purely be doing it for the photo and simply put, we didn’t really feel like it. Which seems pretty apt right now.
Roma has been poorly this week so although she seems ok now and it isn’t much more than a viral infection it has meant not much sleep has been had. I have shared my bed with her for the very first time whilst Eddy was away and we are all just feeling a bit like hibernating in the warm and getting through the day! On Sunday afternoon we did briefly discuss if we should make a day of it but then as the cold seeped in and we thought about it more a simple trip to the garden centre together felt like a much better option. So here we are sat quite simply on our bed, in the fading light, together.
This month has passed by at lightening speed which I think November always seems to with the build up to the festive period looming and the mania of trying to get everything organised in time. Am I the only one who likes to be all done by the start of December? We seem to have had so much going on this month that it has been hard to sit back and look at any given day, we have all been doing separate things with parties, work and school and pretty much like ships in the night talking only of logistics and to do lists. To be honest even though I know Christmas time is a little crazy and busy at least alot of the things we have planned will be for all of us and I want to soak that up because you never know what next year will look like.
At the moment it seems ever more apparent that despite this time of motherhood being all consuming and sometimes suffocating I know that I will miss them when it’s all about mum taxi’s and friends. By the time I next write our family update my baby girl, the one that made me a mama will be 7! 7! I really can’t believe that she is that old, it sounds like a really long time of being a Mum and I sometimes feel like I am still right there in the thick of it not knowing what the heck we are doing! Yet she is showing me so much more how she wants to be grown up too, how she wants to be that little bit separate from us and it makes me both a little sad and incredibly proud all in one. The requests to see friends is becoming more frequent (which is like a military operation in itself trying to align work, school and life to actually see those friends) and she is struggling a little with her emotions and questioning her place in this family at times. I get that at the moment we are sometimes not enough for her, yet she is the most loving and integral part of our team that without her there, life just doesn’t seem complete. I want her to be able to look back at this age and know that despite the stern words, the attitude and the tears that all eyes are still on her and that we adore her. We have had 7 years of her and almost 3 years of the us that you see here in these photos, any one without the other just feels wrong, and incomplete.
As I say almost every month, and as you can most likely see here, Roma is the troublemaker of the family, the funny one, the cheeky one, the one that brings the childish joy. Her speech is incredible and she is just the funniest little thing ever, she knows it too so plays up to it which pretty much gets her anything she wants! She is fearless and confident yet loving and kind and has got nothing but adoring eyes for her sister most of all. As much as I can’t see us without Eva, I can’t see us without Roma either. I do love spending one on one time with them don’t get me wrong and it is nice to do so. Yet my mind always wanders, what is the other one doing? What time will they be back? How much are they missing out on and when will we be as one once again. Truly that is where I always want to be, the two of them that make this family complete, that make us exactly that, a family. What makes up Me, and mine. They might drive me crazy and I might want the motherhood train to stop for me to get off sometimes, but if it ever really did I am not sure I would even know what to do with myself.
These aren’t perfect photos but life isn’t exactly perfect right now, or I guess ever really. We do the best we can at the time and that really is all we are doing right now, but we are doing that together so it could definitely be worse.