Two weeks ago today I had a tonsillectomy, and I know it seems strange to refer to an operation as “me time” but you see I am not very good at the whole me time thing. I am so aware of how days, weeks and years fly by with young children that I find myself just wanting to make the most of it, to make their world a perfect place and try to soak up every moment, enjoy it and not miss a single second.
Since sharing my eldest Little Ladies name here I have been meaning to sit down and share R’s name too, after the excitement and the nerves hovering over the publish button came the realisation that I had to write this one aswell. I have loved sharing her name and am so happy with the decision but something feels different this time. I feel the kind of nerves and excitement where you get butterflies in your tummy, the kind where you are so overwhelmed it’s hard to find the perfect words as the final piece of the puzzle for this online space of mine takes place. Much like when we made that journey back home from the hospital with her, the four of us, my whole and complete world in one car. We walked into the house together on that cold February day with everything we had ever wanted and I remember crying at the sheer perfection of that moment, sitting with a cup of tea and looking around at the life I got to lead each and every day.
There is nothing like an un-ordinary week to remind you that with children, even in the most extraordinary of times there will always be the ordinary, the usual, the mundane. These are the moments I will miss when they pass in the blink of an eye and I can’t remember, and indeed are the moments I have missed this week. I have sat in bed for the past 6 days and missed all the ordinary life going on around me, downstairs, outside, in school. I honestly hate the school run, every single day it surprises me, even as we edge closer to the end of the first year it comes as a shock that I really have to do this every single day and say goodbye to my girl whom I miss so very dearly whilst she is at school all day. I know I shouldn’t say that and I should let her have her time, her day and I do, of course I do but I just miss her terribly.