What a year! Every eve of your birthday is special, it is manic and emotional in equal measures and I just cannot stop myself than to look back at photos of you when you were a baby or from years gone by and wonder how it can be another year already. I sit here typing as the tears flow of pure love and utter pride for you and wonderment on how you can be 7 already. It makes Mummy feel old! I say this every single year and know I probably will for as long as I live, but each year seems so much bigger than the last and each year with hindsight in mind I wish I could go back and soak up the moments all over again. To relive them all, the firsts, the lasts, the arguments and the best cuddles anyone ever gives.
This year though does seem to have had so many milestones. You learnt to swim, to tie your shoes laces and you lost your first tooth! You lost that first tooth which changed that smile forever, then you lost 3 more and are on the cusp of losing those top two which I know will change all over again. By next year this new smile will be our new normal and the tiny perfectly white baby teeth with be all of a distant memory, but to you it is filled with nothing but excitement. As I look back I must remember that you only ever look forward and there is something so wonderful about that.
You certainly are growing up so fast right in front of my eyes and it is such a privilege to watch. Of course we have our moments as you grow, your opinions matter now baby they really do, they just don’t always match up with mine. You can be cheeky, and defiant, and you can get cross and slam doors. I want you to know this is all normal, it is all part of growing up and that really as much as you are winging it not knowing what to say or do and feeling like you are making mistakes, I have to tell you a secret. So am I. So please don’t be hard on yourself(….or me!) Because no matter how hard things get or what we go through together the important thing is, we are together.
Not only do you have me but of course you have us all, right in the palm of your hand. Your sister adores you, she looks up to you in every way possible and you have just the loveliest relationship. You know apart from the times when she won’t leave you alone to read or vacate your room when asked politely and suddenly I have to shout “girls” at you whilst you slyly elbow each other, yes Mum sees that! You share so much of your lives with each other though and really are the best when you are together. You bring so much to the table with your kindness, understanding and pure joy in her achievements, I couldn’t think of anyone better to have on our team.
The biggest change and challenge for you this past year is that you started a new school. We were all nervous about the change and I for one worried that the decision we had made wouldn’t be the happiest for you. But yet again you have been utterly amazing, you have settled in the best I could ever have wished for, have come on leaps and bounds in confidence and self assurance and you really could not be happier going into school every single morning. You take pride in your school and your class and I just smile from ear to ear when I hear you shyly yet proudly talk about all things school related.
That is one thing that has not changed this year as any other, you love to talk, you are a watcher, an observer, a quiet person in the corner of the room slightly different to everyone else but one that knows a thing or two about everyone else too, and are not afraid to share it. I dread to think what you tell people when I am not there to share the context! Some of my favourite times with you though are hearing you chat away in the back of the car to Roma like two old washer women or when we get a few hours to ourselves on a Tuesday as Roma is in nursery and we just talk, about nothing and everything but we are 100% listening to each other and it’s just my favourite. I hope you never stop talking to me baby girl.
You are still old beyond your years just now but whether it is your age or the school change, I am seeing snippets of the carefree child I have always wished for you and I love it. The way you laugh with your friends now is different from the way you laugh with me and I adore seeing that in you. You care so much and letting go of that is so important baby girl and you sure are getting there, you have so many years ahead to be serious and grown up please baby take your time, for me if not only for you!
Eva Dee you are kind, and funny, feisty and fair, independent and oh so loving. You adore books more than anything in the whole world, you share Dad’s love for football and have a passion for photography so much that you can certainly take a picture to rival my own. You have the very best outlook on the world and see no boundaries whether that be gender with clothes, friends, jobs, you just do not see limits there and I hope that never changes,
If I could give you one piece of advice Eva it would be to be the best person you can be, but be you and don’t apologise for that. Be unapologetically you because to me you are utter perfection. I love you more than I can say and my heart bursts just looking at you. So At 3.46pm today wherever we are, in a science museum at your request, out for a meal to share you with the world or snuggling together reading a book, wherever we may be at that exact moment just like every other year I will be glad to know you, to be with you right there in that moment. I will shed a tear, raise a smile (and possibly a glass) and feel proud, of you, and that we made it.
Happy Birthday baby girl. It has been 7 whole years and I have loved every one. Thank you for being mine but most of all thank you for being you. I wouldn’t have you any other way.
As always if I could choose any 7 year old, I would always choose you.
I love you.
And I am yet again reminded every single year not to work with balloons, especially with winter birthdays. But hey next year should be a breeze though with an 8!